#22 "He showed no pity, no pity at all."
Male violence, French citizenship, September book club and some reading links.
Hi friends,
I unexpectedly took the summer off from the podcast and newsletter. It feels good to be back. And, if there are any topics you’d specifically like to read about, drop me a line and I’ll see what I can do.
Let’s start with the personal — this past week, I was invited to attend a ceremony at the town hall in Montreuil to celebrate my French citizenship. The news was actually made official on January 13th 2021. Heading out for a lockdown walk, I checked the letterbox and voilà, there was the confirmation of my French nationality. Voting in the 2022 Presidential election was an emotionally charged moment.
Almost four years later, we finally got to celebrate!
We all know that admin can be a headache but actually, my French citizenship application kept me sane after leaving a stressful job, by giving me some small task to do each day. And yes, while it was sometimes a little stressful gathering all the paperwork from the last 10 years of my French life (!!) I was fully aware of my privileged position.
During the citizenship ceremony, the mayor of Montreuil, Patrice Bessac, invited members of the audience to share their journey to becoming French and their connection to Montreuil. Things unexpectedly got a bit emotional. The word “proud” (fier) came up a lot. Feeling appreciated (valorisant) was also mentioned. Being able to vote was something, clearly, we all cared deeply about. And Montreuil specifically was the place where some people felt that everything clicked into place, motivating them to apply for citizenship. I can relate to that, having being a Montreuilloise for over a decade.
In a future newsletter, I’d love to share more about this commune, its political roots and notable events or locations, such as the maison des femmes and the murs à pêches.
When it comes to Gisèle Pélicot, I’m not sure there’s much I can contribute that hasn’t already been said. If you’re in need of an introduction to the subject, this NY Times article is a good place to start. And for the French speakers amongst you, this Le Monde article by journalist Hélène Devynck is an excellent piece of writing that balances the facts with feminist analysis and empathy.
I can only tell you how angry I am. How sick I feel with each new detail that comes out and it’s only the first week of the trial. I imagine you feel the same.
These past few days, I’ve spoken to or been messaging with several girlfriends about the case. We have acknowledged the formidable display of strength from Gisèle Pélicot and her daughter, Caroline Darian, who discovered that her father had taken photos of her, naked, without her consent. I have tried to imagine that day in 2020 when Gisèle went to the police station, unaware of what was about to hit. Of how her health suffered from the sexual torture, yet no medical professional could give her answers. I don’t know how she has waited four years for the trial to start.
This case is yet another reminder of how much the world hates women. That it isn’t just the bad guys but also the respectable husbands, like Dominique Pélicot, who, by the way, got caught by chance. The lack of accountability from the 50 or so men on trial, well, I have no words. And this is the best excuse they could come up with:
Other defendants have denied the rape charges, with some arguing that they had the husband’s permission and thought that was sufficient, with other claimed they believed the victim had agreed to be drugged.
(NYT article 6/9/24)
I’m just going to let the data speak for itself:
But consent is something that the patriarchy apparently doesn’t have to concern itself with. In her essay Désirer la violence, the French writer and journalist Chloé Thibaud confidently deconstructs the stereotype of the “bad boy” and lays bare the blatant displays of male violence seen over and over again in our favourite films and TV shows. Experts weigh in throughout (historians, screenwriters, linguists, psychoanalysts, sexologists…) for a deep (and deeply disturbing) reflection on the constant gender-based and sexual violence that we are exposed to. For English speakers/readers, you may want to psyche yourself up to read Men who hate women by Laura Bates.
We also learnt this past week of the brutal murder of Rebecca Cheptegei, a long-distance runner from Uganda who competed at the 2024 Olympics. The perpetrator was her male partner, who, after a quarrel, covered Rebecca in gasoline and then set her on fire. Rebecca was 33 years old. Women around the world are dying at the hands of men on a daily basis and there are no signs of it stopping anytime soon, despite all the hard work being done to shed light on femicides.
SEPTEMBER BOOK CLUB
On Wednesday the 25th September we will meet at Le Pavillon des Canaux to discuss Mask Off by J J Bola. The event is now full but you can join the waitlist here. Even if you can’t make the event, I hope you can read the book or at least browse the Pluto Press catalogue and discover their excellent selection of engaged literature.
SOME FRIENDLY LINKS
Because we are 90% rage and 10% cosy autumn vibes:
5 Queer Dating Lessons I Learned as a Newly Out Bi Woman (Them)
Why Do We Want To Look Like Glass? (Jessica DeFino)
A gym buddy made me a playlist, which is fun, sexy, and a little reflective. I’ve discovered Orion Sun, Kali Uchis, and The Marias, and I’m having a great time. Thanks, Erin!
Saint Omer: Shades of Motherhood (Jennifer Padjemi)
Postcards From An Aggressively French Summer (Hannah Meltzer)
And I leave you with this. Upcoming book club theme?
Lou xx
A note on The FBC Paris
If you’re new here, welcome! The FBC Paris is a passion project. Read our mission statement.
Follow us on Instagram: this is where you can find out everything about our monthly book clubs.
Listen to the podcast: I chat to authors, translators, friends of the book club, and booksellers.
If there is anything you’d like to see featured in the newsletter or have something to contribute, send an email to thefbcparis@gmail.com